I think I died a long time ago.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
