Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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