I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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