There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
