can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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