you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
