So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
