I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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