I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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