Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
