Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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