i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
