I cannot find my penis.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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