and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My vagina is officially offended.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
