id be glad to
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize