Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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