Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
