Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she woke up with a sticky ear
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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