I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
