oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
