when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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