my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
