i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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