Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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