Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
