Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize