Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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