Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
