Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There's always time for handjobs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize