you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
