I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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