and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
