im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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