try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
