so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
