She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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