just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
