did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
