Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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