We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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