If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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