You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
