this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize