When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize