we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
