Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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