Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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