the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
