My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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