Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
