My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
