i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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