I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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