his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize