I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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