I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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