He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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