Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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