too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
