ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
