He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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