Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
