is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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